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  • The Mediocre Moms Club

Unpopular Opinion -It's okay to hate your body

Society is always telling us, as women, to build each other up. Constantly teaching us to remind each other that our bodies are beautiful no matter what shape or size. Well the truth of it is, some of us just flat out hate our bodies. And the worst of it is, most women won’t even give us the time of day to express that feeling. The minute a woman tries to complain about her body, there are her friends… “You JUST had a baby, give it some time,” “don’t even start, you look amazing,” “you should be proud of your body, it grew a whole human.” I’m not against body positivity by any means, but it’s such a suffocating feeling for someone like me. Someone who put the time and effort into working on my best self pre baby and even during pregnancy. I was so proud of myself and my body for being able to carry out such an active lifestyle. Throughout my pregnancy was actually the strongest and most fit I had felt in years. Postpartum even started out great for me. I was fitting in my old clothes, back at the gym and picking up where I had left off just a few weeks before.

Fast forward a couple of months and it all seemed to fall apart -none of it seemed to stick. It was like my body was settling into its new self regardless of all the hard work I had put into it. Truthfully, most days I don’t care what my body has done. I don’t care that it went through all those amazing changes to form another human. I miss my flat stomach and the number on the scale. I miss my self confidence and the way it used to make me feel. The reminders of my old body are constant. Every time I shower and look in the mirror. Every time I walk into my closet and try to get dressed. Every time I step into my kitchen and carefully decide what food choices to make that day. Every time the season changes and my coat doesn’t fit. My shoes are even too small for fuck sakes. For me personally, my struggle is obviously my weight. And if that’s your specific struggle too, I’m not sitting here claiming that I think it’s healthy, physically or mentally, to lounge around and hate your body without doing anything about it. Hate your body, but make a plan and put it into action. Do what you need to do. Make some changes and find a way to hold yourself accountable to your goals. My turning point was when I realized I had a friend that felt the same way. Someone who isn’t constantly trying to build me up when I mention how terrible I feel in my own skin. Someone who understands without needing explanation because they’re haunted by the same thoughts. Someone who reminds me that my negativity surrounding my body is valid. Some days, that acknowledgement from her is the only thing that keeps my head above water instead of drowning silently in my own self pity. We talk about how much we love our babies but hate what they have done to our bodies. We share our struggles and our goals, and then we move on. We exercise, drink our water, go for walks, plan our meals and do what we need to do to get a little closer to where we once were. I’m sure my body will never be the same and honestly, at this current point in time, I’d be lying if I said I knew I would love it again one day -I don’t know that I ever fully will. For me it’s the weight, for some it’s the stretch marks and for others it’s the countless other imperfections they notice every day. My body feels ruined, but my heart is full and one day my hate for my body won’t feel so loud. Life gets busy and those types of thoughts tend to fade.

For those of you out there that are thriving in your postpartum bodies, I truly envy you. Your strength and confidence are admirable. But for the rest of you out there like me, remember, it doesn’t make you a bad mom to hate the body that grew your baby. You’ve given away the biggest physical part of yourself that used to make you, you. You can hate your body and love your baby all at the same time and you’re not alone in it.

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